I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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