I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
