Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
