Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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