I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
