I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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