I faked an abortion last night.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
