She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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