I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
