Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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