You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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