remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
