How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
