I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
