Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I don't deserve a penis
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
