pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
did i walk over a car last night?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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