Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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