your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So vagazzling was a success
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
