nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
