i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
