It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
