Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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