well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
