so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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