She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
