I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
