Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
