He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
