he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
