is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
