Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
