It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
