Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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