No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
