Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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