By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
