I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
