You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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