You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
