We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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