it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
