but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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