bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
