he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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