The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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