I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
