My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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