Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
