Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We talked him into tasing himself.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
