if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
